Soon*

I don’t want to bother you.

It’s been almost a month since the last time we spoke.

Sometimes I wonder how you’re doing

You’d be disappointed in me.

I am.

I can’t get myself to say that I’m truly happy for you.

Lets face it,

You’re never coming back.

So, why did you give up on me?

The ending of my drama made me cry.

It was sad but not crying sad. I cried because it reminded me of things.
So the guy thought everything was ok. The girl went to see him knowing she was leaving. They were fine all day but then at the end of the day she kept saying I’m going to miss this. And eventually she left.
This happened to me. It was a good day, then you told me “I’m going to miss this” and you hugged me. Little did I know you meant forever. I was foolish for not knowing.

Remember all the good times we had?

You probably don’t.

There’s never anytime for me.

I totally understand. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see me if I were you either.
But what I don’t understand is how can you say that you’re Lonely? What do you think I am? How do you think I feel every single god damn day if my life. How do you think I feel when you’re back and still so far from me. It makes me want to die. That’s how it makes me feel.
So don’t give me that bull shit. What I feel, is far worse than how you feel. And we both know who’s fault it is.

I try not to get my hopes up.

Someone build me a time machine and take me back to last year.

Back Yard Show, Yellow Card Concert, YL hayride, Winter camp, Junior Prom, New York trip, Tacky Prom, Senior Prom, Relay for Life, California, Philies Games, and everything in between. 

that was just really awkward.

but ok.

Do you still have our scrap book.

I wouldn’t count on it.

I watched the bachelor tonight

When the girl got voted off, she pleaded him. Telling him it was the wrong decision. And in my head I though “why beg him if he made up his mind. It’s so stupid and you’re making a fool of yourself” turns out, that was me, 6 months ago. And I regret ever doing that. Ever. I was foolish. Stupid.

I once told myself I was good enough,

Now that I think back, I wasn’t. I’m not worth your time, or your patients. I made myself believe it wasn’t because of me, but because of your new life you have to adapt to. I was wrong, I wasn’t enough for you to hold on to. I wasn’t worth a few extra calls or visits.
Without a notification, you up and left. Leaving me here, for all these months, trying to grasp the fact that I am just not enough. I’m worthless.